This is my Happiness Journal

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I firmly believe that every single being on this planet has a place where they feel so completely “right”, your soul’s home if you will.

My trip to Italy was an awakening of sorts. I was thrown out of my comfort zone, and my country, at a time when I didn’t think I could handle it. But it’s true to say that the things you want, and ultimately need, are just past your boundaries. This trip was scary at first, slightly frustrating as well, but in the end so needed.

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Florence had a special impact on me. Immediately I felt at home, I felt safe, I felt like I was one with the city. I could go on and on about the sites and the history, but that’s besides the point. The point is that even when I was lost, I wasn’t afraid. And I felt at home with myself there. I let my hair go natural in big curls and ringlets. I went out with minimal makeup and cared about being healthy in my skin. It was freeing to feel so accepted being my absolute self, and the positive reactions of total strangers reassured me.

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Leaving was difficult. After finally existing in a place where I felt so genuinely myself, it was hard to come back to the U.S. where school and social pressures awaited me. I was scared to lose this discovered part of me and the last thing I wanted was to just blend back in to the crowds. As a solution I created this journal and filled it with pictures, tickets, business cards, anything and everything of my time in Florence. With those physical pieces I’m going to write down the memories associated with them. This is my way of holding on to that piece of me and my time there. I still have a bit to go and a lot to write, but it feels more than worth it to relieve each moment spent there.

Personally, this idea has helped greatly. I don’t exactly journal… ever, so completing a daily list of the aspects of my life that make me happy is intimidating. Instead I just compile all of the memories, the quotes, the ideas that make me smile in one place at one time and then whenever I feel negative I can read through each moment. It’s easier, and a bit more sentimental/composed than my emotional tangents.

So please, tell me what your book would be about and why! You know I love to hear from you…

XOXO,  Marin

My Candle Haul! | Rando Thursday

Hello Beauties!

This weekend I went on a homeware shopping excursion, which ended in picture frames, fairy lights, and candles. Ah, yes, the ever-present need to seem more mature than I really am has manifested itself in candles. I know, it’s weird. But I guess I’m a candle person now. I’m so sorry for letting you all down, but I promise you that it will only get worse… 🙂

I ended up getting basically everything from HomeGoods, which is a dangerous place for all my fellow candle lovers out there since they had a complete rack of at least 100 candles. Lets just say I ended the day with a serious headache. I didn’t buy as many as you think I did (I promise you I would get more if I had the room for them) but here are the three that I purchased! Enjoy!

THE CANDLES

LAB’s Lotus Bamboo: Basically like flowers and grass. It’s pretty self explanatory.

LAB’s Wild Orchid: What I can only describe as a DQ Blizzard amongst a field of flowers and grass.

Sensational’s Natural Soy Candle in Chrome: The mobster of all candles; it smells like a strong business man.

Watch my accompanying YouTube video to see what I thought of these candles in more detail! Otherwise check in every Tuesday and Thursdays for more videos, and every Friday for a more dedicated/ usually fashion post! Until next time…

Peace, Love, and Baby Ducks,

Marin X

A Peek Into My Thoughts Right Now…

Hello My Beauties!
This week has been a little tough but in a weird way. So I thought that it might be good to open up about a couple of things that I have been thinking about these past couple of days and see what y’all think. Here it goes Lovelies…

Why Am I Doing This?

I feel like this is the age old question that everyone encounters, but for me this question revolves around my blog and my Youtube channel. Both of those things bring me SO much joy, and I love hearing back from you guys (it always makes my day!). But honestly, it can be really hard to balance life, school, and this blog. I always want to deliver great quality posts and material for you guys, so it sucks when I can’t exactly provide that. A huge reason for starting all of this was to reach out to all of you, as well as provide some advice in whatever areas of your life you are having troubles with! The down side to all of this is when a post that I work really hard on or a video I spend hours editing doesn’t get the attention I thought it would. It can be a real downer to look at this little baby you spent a chunk of your life on and not have it flourish. Then I start to think about the people that DO support me and that DO enjoy what I putout there, and I just get all emotional thinking about it! In the end you guys are the most amazing people and I appreciate you every second of the day! 🙂

Boys… Damn.

It just explains itself. Being a teenage girl acting like she has got everything figured out (WHAT A LIE!), boys are the biggest enigma I have ever encountered. I don’t understand how anyone ever ends up with each other when there is just this endless game of Cat-n-Mouse throughout the relationship. I don’t even know who is the cat and who is the mouse! And we can all relate to the endless, tortuous fantasies that flood your mind when you think about that person; your first date, first anniversary gift, etc. Sadly, and this is really sad, all those fantasies are just that! To make matters even worse, that perfect guy/girl in your mind, yeah no one is ever going to live up to those expectations! That significant other you are dreaming of is YOUR MIND! No one is ever going to be that person, and it isn’t fair for you, or anyone else, to have to compete with that. Still, that truly-true fact doesn’t stop me from constantly thinking about *insert name here* and how cute we would be together if it would ever work out. *sigh*

Life Is So Beautiful

Another big thing that has been on my mind is how amazing life is. The concept of life, the complexities of life, the endlessness of it. Life is the longest thing that each of us will ever experience, yet it is so short when you think about it. And another thing, it can go away so easily. That is a big part of what has been making me so emotional about the whole thing: it can be ended so quickly. That is also where the darker part of my brain steps in and makes everything really deep and really dark. Basically, I end up an emotional wreck. Yet, I like to think that there is an up side to all that, which is that lately I have been really valuing and experiencing EVERYTHING! Yes, I end up being really emotional over a plant or something, but I feel like that is part of really living (the feelings not the plant)! Being able to look at a anything and getting some sort of emotional reward. Plus, if you actually just take the time to look, and I mean REALLY LOOK, at this beautiful planet we call home, in this beautiful solar system, in this beautiful galaxy, in this beautiful universe, you will understand what I mean.

So that really went all over the place, didn’t it? Basically my stream of consciousness in a post. Anyways, I love you all and thank you for reading and please feel free to comment with ANYTHING!

Peace, Love, and Baby Ducks,

Marin XO